So you have one million dollars…

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One million dollars is not what it used to be. If you planned a James Bond life with a $1 million bank account, forget it. Even investing in Brazil, with the world’s largest interest rate, 1Mbucks STILL isn’t enough to pay a millionaire’s life.

Or, at least, the life WE, poor people, think millionaires live. Anyway let’s move on and check some hard facts about the life of the rich and famous…

“Being a millionaire means at least US$100 million. People with savings of US$ 1 million are middle-class.”

Vera Loyola, Época Magazine
06/16/2003.

You know what? She’s right. With US$1 million, if the guy wants to keep a globetrotter playboy lifestyle, will be broke in no time.

James Bond
Is good to be Bond, but it’s very expensive; far more than a British Navy Commander, with a yearly salary of US$90,592 can afford.

Dr Evil
Dr Evil was really modest with his demand of a US$1 million ransom. At the end of this text, you’ll realize WHY the world leaders laughed at him.

Let’s imagine. By some lucky strike or Destiny’s intervention you are listed in someone’s will, or stole a bank, or hit the jackpot, lottery tickets, whatever. Your bank account is US$1 million above it’s previous level. God, you’re a millionaire, will travel the world, live in the best hotels, shag truckloads of wonderful women, right?
Right, for 6 months, top. After that will be broke, you last pubic hair will be loaned already, your prays will ask for another US$1 million, just to equalize your debts.
Of course, if you dream is to start a small business, have a honest and meaningful life, something to make Frank Capra proud. US$1 million is more than enough. BUT if you think that amount of money will pay for a rock star lifestyle… you’re doomed. Follow me…

Earnings

JP Morgan Sovereign Maxblue is a very stable and reliable trust fund, back in 2002 it’s interest rate topped 38.45%. Investing US$1 million means more US$384,500.00 at the end of the year.
Divide by 12, we’ve US$ 32.041,66 liquid, monthly.
Unless you start to chip your main money, your monthly expenditures will need to fill in this amount.
Well, US$32.041, 66 / month is a lot of money. Or isn’t? I don’t think so. Let’s see the gadgets a millionaire-wanna-be must have, if want to follow Bond’s steps…

Private Jet

Evil Jet

Model:

Gulfstream G100, used, 1998, with 1097 flight hours

Price:

US$9,500,000.00

Source:

http://www.marquisjet.com/articles/setjet.html

Conclusion:

Out of question. You don’t have the money to begin to play in this league. Leasing? No way, this baby carries a tag of US$60.000 / month, twice your earnings.

Private Island

Evil Island

Kind:

Ilha do Japão. 25 thousand square meters, docking facilities, etc, etc. Angra dos Reis, Rio de Janeiro, very exclusive, very expensive.

Price:

US$ 2.000.000,00

Source:

http://www.bracboat.com.br/ilhasvend.htm

Conclusion:

Out of question. Twice you money. What about something more realistic? Some land, no island. There’s a 51 thousand square meters area, near the Sitio Forte, only US$ 230.000. Hum. OK, still expensive? What about… renting? A house at the Ilha das Palmeiras, a nice island, is far more cheaper. Only US$800. A DAY. Bad news? US$24.000 / month. There goes a sizable percent of your profits.

A Ferrari

Evil Ferrari

Model:

F50, used, de 1995

Price:

US$ 480.000,00

Conclusion:

I don’t have the data about other countries, but in Brazil the yearly licenses amount 4% of the car’s value. And you don’t have a lot to spare, half your money is gone. Can you imagine living with the interests of ½ US$ 1 million AND yearly bills of US$19,200.00 PLUS insurance, maintenance, etc?

Vila in Spain

Evil Villa
Evil Villa

Kind:

El Cortijo Colina, 5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, 90Km from the airport, Andaluzia.

Price:

US$ 420.000,00

Source:

http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/Forsale/fs29.htm

Conclusion:

Once again, half your money is gone. You’ve made some recurrent expenses, live taxes, servants, air tickets, etc. Far too much money for a 200 years old house in the middle of nowhere, and with a silly little fish thank disguised as swimming pool.

weekend in Monaco

Evil Hotel

Kind:

Hotel Mirabeau, not a top luxury one, but a nice 4-stars. Two-days diary, standard apartment rate is:

Price:

US$ 722,00

Source:

http://www.dilos.com/hotel/2072

Conclusion:

Viable for a few days, but do your math, for a stay of more than a 2 weeks. Add up casinos, dinner, car rentals… You can’t afford it with a US$32,000.00 monthly budget. And, of course, real millionaires don’t stay in middle-class places like the Mirabeu.

1st class tickets – Rio-Paris-Rio

Evil Plane

Kind:

Tickets, first class, full fares (high season, of course) for two, from Rio to Paris, and returning.

Price:

US$15,730.00

Source:

http://www.varig.com.br

Conclusion:

A brand new luxury car? That’s what you’re willing to pay for a AIR TICKET? With expenses like that you’ll be poor again in no time. What about your secretary and assistants? Millionaires don’t travel alone. And how many of this trips you plan to do every year? First class can ruin your budget, you know.

A First-Class British Escort

Evil Babe

Kind:

Yasmine, Spanish blended with Chinese, 45Kg (mignon, humm), 23 lovely years-old. Cute, great to figure in everyone’s resume. Come on, you’d love to do her.

Price:

US$ 2.400,00 – whole night

Source:

http://www.chinadollescort.com/oriental_escort_girls_in_london.htm

Conclusion:

If not even with US$1 million at the bank you manage to score some girls, you’re a loser, but you want to shag anyway, so pay for it. OK, but don’t get used to top professionals. At US$2.400,00 / night, YOU will be the one screwed. Your interests will be gone. A single week with our lovelly Yasmine will make you 16.8K dollars poorer.

Final Conclusion

As we can see, even with US$1 million at the bank you’re still poor, right?

Wrong. One Million Dollars is enough to settle 3 generations of your family, College tuition, etc. It’s up to you what you want to do.
You can invest at some trust fund, or you can begin some startup (no Internet, please) and multiply your money (or loose everything). OR you can spend the rest of your life traveling, meeting new people, new places, BUT withtout a James-Bond-Like lifestyle.
The point is: Anyone with a US$1 million at the bank still need to be responsible. Don’t make an offer to bang Demi Moore, you’ll not have the money for the cab, US$1 million is her price tag and all you’ve got. Don’t matter you are not quoted at Vanity Fair, or www.Thesuperficial.com. Don’t waste US$5000 with a PR professional, go see the Pyramids, instead.
Of course, if you’re a 20-something blonde heir, with undreds of millions at your disposal, this entire text is pointless. Shutdown your golden laptop and go live the good life, Paris.



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